This week was very emotional for me. It was tough, sad and at times overwhelming. And progress was very slow. But I was glad about the task ahead of me and grateful and I have to admit, it made me feel special. Special, because this lovely family put their trust and faith in me to create something truly special for them.
Last year, I had a lovely lady ordering three dolls of me. When I changed my business name, she followed me to my new page and sent me a lovely message at the start of September:
"Before my husband & I had our 3 children pictured in my profile picture we very sadly had another little boy who passed away - every year we buy a new Christmas decoration for him for our tree but this year I had a thought if you could make a boy doll with angel wings to sit at the top of our tree? "
I was very touched by this request and of course agreed. The result of four days work is this:
This task was extra difficult for me as I have my own experience with Christmas and death. What I am about to tell you, is very personal, but I feel like sharing it.
There once was a man in my life, who meant the world to me. His name was Marcel and he was my father. Sadly I didn't have him in my life for very long. When I was only 12, life became overwhelming for him and he no longer could bare the thought of living. So in the night from Christmas Day to Boxing Day, he took a rope and with that rope his own life. What was left was a horrible, deep and very dark hole that took many years to get a little brighter. When I was a child, I imagined that he was my special angel, my guardian angel, who watched over me and protected me. And many times in my life I felt protected, so maybe it is true.
Christmas has been a tough time for me ever since. Every year I do feel pain but this pain is getting easier to deal with. Now, I can enjoy Christmas again and thanks to my girls I even feel excitement.
This little angel is called Jake. He was only little and should not have left this world yet.
I really wanted to give him a very special set of wings that will carry him forever and can wrap around him when he is in need of a hug.
And all i want to say in the end is this:
Rest in peace little angel and may the big angels be at your side forever.